So allow me to take a moment to vent as well as let y'all in on a few of my quips and such. Now before I get a bunch of email's insisting that the things Ive listed aren't really issues...let me clarify and say that the ideas and concerns you may find in the list are completely and thoroughly MY opinion and MY own personal issues! So here we go...
Fat Bougie Chicks Top 10 DWF issues
- 10. Choosing a restaurant for a date: So he asks "Where would you like to go?" and I begin to contemplate a few things... What I want to say is "Cheesecake Factory" because they give you ALL the food in their portion sizes...Not to mention the Red Velvet Cheesecake Hunty! But instead I say "I mean...it doesn't really matter...we can go walk in the park or go bowling...you know... I already ate" (Lie). There was I time when I used to think like this but now I be like "Bruh...where's the closest Cheesecake Factory?! I needs that Shrimp Scampi with extra sauce in my life!" Because there is no profit in faking the funk!
- 9. Going to the Movies for a Date: Don't you dare act like you don't understand this struggle.. there y'all are, especially if he's a big dude too, sitting next to one another in them baby ass movie theater seats looking like two jumbo sized marshmallows squished together trying to share one arm rest! Nah dude...if you want to take me to the movies...we're going to the movie tavern with the extra large, reclining seats so my booty can be free!
- 8. Overly Physical dates: Now my idea of a high energy date is bowling...perhaps skating. But every now and then you get one who's all like "Hey lets go rock climbing" "Oh we should go on a hike" and to that I respond " errruum...are you trying to watch me die?!" I say chose a date where you'll be able to be comfortable and give him a glimpse of your true self.
- 7. Blind Dates: Although blind dates are a endangered species these days due to social media being over saturated with selfies and what not, there are still some variables that you have look out for. If he refuses to smile in any of his pictures...you may want to inquire on the status of his teeth count. And if every picture is just another angle of his face...ask for a full body pic. And if it is YOU who is being deceptive...you might as well come clean girl because there is no way you are gonna fool him into believing you look like Lauren London once he sees you up-close and personal! I try to send my most straight forward pictures because no one has time for misunderstandings. I remember going on a blind date when I was like 20...I was home on break from college and had been introduced to a guy through a mutual friend. Well I decided I'd meet him down the block from my house, for safety reasons, and as I waited for him to pull up in a black tinted car after waiting like 30 minutes in the dead of winter, my nipples turned to ice ..one pulled up. He rolled down the window and asked "Are you Quani" to which I replied "Yes" at which point he rolled the window back and up and pulled the hell off! A few days later I spoke to him and he explained that I didn't look like what he'd been told I would. Mostly because he didn't expect me to be a fattie. Now without a doubt he was a F&@k boy...but I'll admit that there was more that I could've done to be more specific about how I looked too. Just be real girl...if he likes you, it won't matter...Unless you have teeth like a construction site...then you should probably get that together first.(Joke)
- 6. Skinny Men: For the life of me , I can't figure out why really thin men seem to flock to big girls...I think its because they're trying to prove something and sometimes we're trying to prove something as well! I just say be clear about both his and your intentions.
- 5. Meeting the Family: I always dread meeting my guy's family because either they've never seen him bring home a big girl or he always bring home big girls. So either the family has this smirk on their face when you walk in and you overhear comments like " You loooove you some big girls, don't you!" or you get the stares like you're in an exhibit at the damn zoo! "Oh my, a real life fattie...in our home" That's why I think it is super important to be confident in who you are before moving to this step! You should walk into the room with your presence speaking so loudly that the last thing they notice is your size!
- 4. Taking your clothes off: Now here's the struggle with this...girl you can't be girdled from your neck to your ankles all day, everyday and then you decide to take it to the next level and without warning all at once you introduce him to every roll on your body! Introduce him slowly...one roll at a time, I say! lol No but seriously...if you don't feel comfortable enough to share your body insecurities with him, than you're probably not ready to share your body with him.
- 3. "Is it because I'm fat" Syndrome: You've been dating this man for months and everything is good...but every time something questionable happens you blame your being fat. STOP IT girl! Your fatness is not a secret to him...he is well aware that it's there. So quit acting like any time a little tension arises he suddenly discovers your milkshake! The Milkshake is what brought him to the yard in the first place!
- 2. Skinny Friends: I can't begin to tell you how many times an acquaintance has said to me "You're always going on dates, yet I can't seem to find anyone" Biiiish! what exactly does that mean!? Be weary of those chicks...who think that you being a fattie make you less deserving of a love life than them. But I don't get annoyed anymore...now I just respond by saying "Maybe you should eat something..." *insert hair flip*
- 1. Beware the BBW Chaser: You know him! He brags about liking his women big like its some sort of damn badge! He asks to touch your rolls, He tries to feed you constantly, He consistently makes reference to your fat in a sexual way...he views you as a fetish. If you're looking for fun...perhaps that cool...But if you're looking for love...that's going to get old real quick!!Be sure to find out if he's in it for the fetish or because he genuinely likes who you are!
Hope you enjoyed my tips! Above all...take chances, buy into who you are, own your identity and have fun!
Light and Love,
Miss Fat & Bougie
